eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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