My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
send nudes
from the living room?
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