so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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