what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
