I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
