He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
