Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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