yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
