He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize