Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
