who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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