i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
