New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize