I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
