Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
