dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
