I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
