I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
