Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
