apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
