he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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