Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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