mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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