never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We have started to decorate penises.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
