Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
