Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
