I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
