I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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