Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
