she was so not down for the gang bang
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
