Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
