Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
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