the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
