"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
