if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I love black thongs
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
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