Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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