Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
