Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize