Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
