He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
