Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I am available for nakedness
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
