Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
