No stitches, just platelets and will power
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
