I wanna bring you to show and tell
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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