Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
