So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
