I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He passed out mid-signature
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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