No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I looked at my own cervix.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
