Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
