Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize