Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
