you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
