Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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