I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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