its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
