Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
