good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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