She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize