You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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