Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
