Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
