I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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